Gunga Din

It rained the whole time in Ireland, but we had fun despite it. We went to the boat my dad keeps with his friend on Lough Derg. We went to Bunratty castle and folk park, we played a D&D game with the kids, and we invented our own board game and played that. I taught Steph to crochet granny squares and we started work on an afghan for dad. Dad read us poems by Robert Service, Rudyard Kipling and Banjo Patterson whilst we crocheted. I practiced a new bluegrass fingerpick I was learning on the guitar until I drove everyone crazy (but they all agreed I had improved by the end of the week).

The kids played in the Irish farmland surrounding dad's house come rain or shine. They shoveled up gravel from a heap and scattered it all across the yard; on the last day Steph and I spent an hour sweeping it back into a heap. The kids furnished a "den" in the hedgerow by the lane and spent a lot of time carrying stuff up there.

We watched a clutch of swallow chicks in dad's barn get bigger and bigger - before long they'll be ready to fly. We identified most of the wild flowers we found on dad's land (ragwort, greater plantain, ribbed plantain, welted thistle, creeping thistle, creeping buttercup, herb robert, yarrow, short-fruited willowherb, selfheal and others) and we identified all the birds (goldfinches, house sparrows, dunnocks, wrens, robins, chaffinches, blue tits, great tits, greenfinches, jackdaws, hooded crows, wagtails, swallows, and others).

Tomorrow we're off on our travels again - to London this time with Ed (he didn't come to Ireland) for our main family holiday of the year. I'll resume normal regular blogging when I return.

Weed of the Week - Rosebay Willowherb

Rosebay willowherb is also known as fireweed due to its habit of colonising areas devastated by fire. It also flourished on bombsites during the Blitz. It's not usually a problematic weed. You can easily pull it out when it pops up. If you take over a neglected patch of land there might be plenty of willowherb growing on it, but it's nothing like as troublesome as bindweed or couch grass or any of those difficult weeds. Do pull it up before it sets seed though, as it makes downy seeds which float up and spread everywhere.

I think it's a very handsome plant, and apparently it was introduced as an ornamental. I'm not at all surprised, and I don't know why we don't still grow it as a flowering garden plant. I think it looks a lot better than some of the things you can buy in the garden centre. I've seen some references that say you can eat it, but it doesn't seem to be a great delicacy. You can eat anything that isn't actually poisonous, but whether it's worth the effort is a different question.

Weed of the Week - Giant Hogweed

Usually when I feature a Weed of the Week it's something that grows in my own garden or allotment. But I haven't seen any giant hogweed anywhere in my area, and a good thing too.

Giant hogweed looks similar to cow parsley (which does grow in this area and almost everywhere else). But unlike its harmless lookalike, hogweed is huge - it can grow as high as 7m tall - and it has some nasty defences. If hogweed sap gets on your skin and is then exposed to sunlight it causes redness, itching and blisters. Just brushing past the plant can be enough to hospitalise you with severe burns. If the smallest amount of sap gets in your eyes you may go permanently blind. I can't find a reference right now but I am sure I have heard of people injured by swimming in lakes with hogweed growing nearby. The water of the lake became dangerous because of the sap in it.

I was reminded of giant hogweed by a news story about attempts to eradicate it in West Sussex. And I knew about it in the first place because of a Genesis song called The Return of the Giant Hogweed.

Weed of the Week - Horsetails

We don't get these on the allotment but the odd one pops up in the garden. I hoik them out as soon as I see them because they'll take over if you let them. I've seen them growing up through tarmac and through concrete. I don't mean through the cracks, I mean straight up through the middle of the tarmac or concrete. Apparently they grow on motorways. I wouldn't put it past them.

They're weird-looking things, and it's no surprise that very similar plants have been found in fossils from the Carboniferous period, before flowering plants or grasses evolved. They don't have leaves as such, but spiny segments. They don't have flowers or seeds but reproduce by spores. They're coated with silica, and I've heard that in the past they were used for scouring pots. Don't bother spraying them with weedkiller. It doesn't even penetrate this coating.

I have mixed feeling about horsetails. They're a nuisance, but they have this strange prehistoric beauty to them. There are some gorgeous photomicrographs of horsetails at the Microscopy UK website which illustrate what I mean. Sometimes on gardening shows the presenter will enthuse about "architectural plants". Horsetails could fit that description. They almost look as if they're built rather than something that grows. They remind me of the early computer-generated landscapes in the 1980s, when we were all enthralled by fractals and chaos theory.

Horsetails - weird prehistoric alien silicon-based computer-generated weeds growing in my garden. I think the "cool" factor beats the "nuisance" factor. What do you think?

Weed of the Week - Cleavers

Cleavers are every child's favourite weed. Pick up a handful and gently touch it against someone's clothing and it will stick there like velcro. See how much you can hang off mum or dad before they notice. They're covered in tiny little hooks, which is what gives them this power. There are some amazing microscope images of the hooks at the microscopy UK website.

They're known by dozens of common names, including clivers, goosegrass, stickywilly, Stickyweed, catchweed, and bedstraw (lots of plants are called bedstraw). What did you call them when you were kids? We called them "stickybuds", but we made that up ourselves and I don't know anyone else who calls them that. Maybe that's how they acquired so many names - from children.

You can get some thick patches of cleavers in new or neglected ground, but they're very easy to dig out. You don't even need a spade, you can just pull them out with your bare hands. The roots are very shallow and not extensive. Their big propagational trick is the sticky seeds, which stick to birds' feathers and animals' fur just as easily as dad's jumper, and get everywhere. They'll also be in any consignment of fresh manure you bring to your plot (I'm told horses are very fond of eating cleavers, and I know my chickens love them), and probably in any compost you use as well. Just hoik the seedlings out when you see them. Cleavers are no big deal. Not like couch grass, bindweed or ground elder. Those are the weeds you lose sleep over.

According to http://www.herbalremedies.com/:

The dried or fresh herb is said to have anti-tumor, anti-inflammatory, astringent, diaphoretic, stimulant, laxative and diuretic properties.

I've read in several different places that the seeds can be roasted and ground, and used like coffee, but I've never tried it. And The Really Wild Food Guide has two recipes for the leaves (not the stems, though, which are very tough): Spicy Chicken and Goosegrass, and Birch Sap and Cleavers Risotto.

Cleavers get my vote. They're not much trouble in the garden, and they gave me so much mischievous fun as a child. I'd have to say that cleavers have probably enriched my life as much as any vegetable. They're my favourite weed.

Weed of the Week - Brambles

Brambles, or wild blackberries, are obviously a very useful plant. I used to say I'd never grow cultivated blackberries, as there are plenty of wild ones to be gathered for free, and they're invasive so they can be a bother in the garden. However they're a perfect candidate for my edible vandal-proof hedge, and they were given to me free, so the one in the photo is a cultivated variety.

I don't need to list the uses of blackberry fruit do I? In the last few weeks I have used them to make jam, wine, pies and liqueur. You can make a cordial from it, you can eat them fresh with cream, make ice cream, add them to yogurt. They're a wonderfully versatile berry.

The leaves are also useful. Gather them when they're young, dry them for a week then crumble them and use exactly as tea leaves. Bramble leaf tea tastes good (you'll find it in the ingredients list of most fruit-flavoured herb teas) and is reputedly good for diarrhoea and a long list of other ailments. But I prefer to mash the berries, pour boiling water over them, steep for a few minutes, then strain and serve with a spoonful of honey for a sweet fruity drink full of vitamin C.

Brambles are also very important for wildlife. Apparently they form an important part of the diet of deer. They grow into thickets which provide protection for small animals, as Uncle Remus, traditional author of the Brer Rabbit stories, well knew. Birds eat the berries in autumn, when worms and insects are becoming scarce (then perch in the tree in my drive and crap purple all over my car, damn them). And insects such as honeybees consume the nectar from the flowers in spring, pollinating the plants in return.

They spread by seeds, but if you spot a bramble seedling early enough it's no bother to get it out. The trouble comes from the runners. Brambles put out long straight branches which grow along the ground with amazing rapidity. Where the tip touches the ground, the plant puts out roots and forms a new plant which can survive even if the runner is severed. Cutting the plants off at ground level only encourages more suckers. If you have a large area infested with a bramble thicket, as dad has in Ireland, or as Welsh Girl had when she first took over her allotment, you have a major task on your hands to clear the ground. Do wear protective clothing as the prickles are vicious and the tough stems form natural tripwires that lacerate your ankle as they knock you face-first to the ground.

Like nettles, they're such a useful plant that I'm very glad to see them growing wild where I can easily gather them. But like nettles, I don't tolerate wild ones in my allotment or garden, and I keep the cultivated ones in check.

Weed of the Week - Comfrey

I think my favourite thing about comfrey is the name. It's one of those words that is pleasurable to say. Say it out loud - comfrey. Com - frey. Ooh, lovely.

It's also a very useful plant. Its deep roots bring up nutrients from the subsoil, especially potassium. Think of it as non-smelly manure you can grow. You can add the leaves to your compost where they will speed up the decomposition in much the same way as fresh farmyard manure. You can stick bundles of leaves in a bucket and cover with water where they will rot down to a really foul smelling "tea" - you then dilute it to the colour of black tea and pour it on hungry plants as an organic plant food (you can also do this with fresh manure - see what I mean?) Or you can just stick the comfrey leaves in a bucket with no water where they will decompose spontaneously to thick black slime, which is just an even more concentrated form of the same plant food. It absolutely stinks to high heaven, so the manure analogy continues. If you dig a trench you can drop comfrey leaves all along the bottom, as you would well-rotted manure, and then plant crops such as potatoes in there. Or if you are planting out a pot-grown plant or seedling you can shove a comfrey leaf or two in the bottom of the hole. And you can lay a few leaves around your seedlings where they will act as a mulch to prevent water loss and enrich the soil - just like well-rotted manure. This is especially helpful for tomatoes which guzzle the potassium. Don't feel afraid to cut as much as you need - even as far as cutting back the whole plant. It will regrow with amazing rapidity, and seems to come back stronger every time.

It's clearly invaluable to an organic gardener, but it is also prized for its healing powers in humans. One old name for it is "knitbone", and scientific research has confirmed that it is beneficial in bone disorders. However it must not be taken internally as it can have very bad effects on your liver. If you come across any old herbal remedies that advise you to drink it as a tea for example, you should know that this is now considered a very bad idea. But preparations of comfrey for external use, such as oils, ointments or the fresh leaves, are used for skin conditions such as acne and rashes, for bruises, and for broken bones and sprains.

So why is this "weed of the week"? Why not "Very useful and beneficial plant of the week"? Well, if it's growing somewhere you don't want it to - bad luck. It's very hard to get rid of. Its deep roots which give it such useful properties also mean you'll have to dig an enormous hole to get it out. The roots are very brittle, so if you don't dig a deep enough hole, you'll snap the tap root and leave a bit behind. And sure as God made little apples, this will regrow. Don't think you can just cut it back either. As I said earlier, the more you cut it, even cutting off every leaf, the stronger it seems to get. It doesn't spread terribly fast, although if you let it set its pretty purple flowers, seedlings will appear. Deal with them quickly before they establish.

The best approach seems to be this one: if you have comfrey growing in your garden or allotment, declare that place to be your "comfrey patch". Erect a little sign if it makes you feel better. Fence it off if you like. Consider yourself lucky to have a healthy comfrey patch, and don't neglect to make much use of it. Because you probably couldn't get rid of it even if you wanted to.

Weed of the Week - Creeping Buttercup

This is creeping buttercup. There aren't any flowers in the picture but the flowers look like familiar buttercups.

It's not such a problem in vegetable gardens because it isn't hard to dig out. You've got to dig it up - if you dig it in, it will just regrow. But if it gets in a perennial bed such as a flower bed, or in amongst your asparagus, it can be a nuisance. It spreads by long runners from the parent plant. New plants grow where the runner touches the ground. Each plant grows from one central growing point and I'm told that as long as you remove that, it won't regrow from any roots you leave behind. That's the crucial piece of knowledge that makes creeping buttercup much easier to deal with than other weeds with regenerative roots.

Wear gloves when you're dealing with it, as the sap can cause blisters if it gets on your skin. Apparently medieval beggars used it to raise sores on their feet to get sympathy. It's also poisonous. If it can make the skin of your feet blister, you can imagine that you really don't want it in your mouth, oesophagus, stomach etc. I've heard that it depletes potassium from the soil, and kills neighbouring plants.

Sounds pretty unpleasant doesn't it? But it's not really that tricky to deal with so it's not in the same category as ground elder, for example, or bindweed. As weeds go it's not that evil. But don't forget your gardening gloves.

Weed of the Week - Ground Elder

There are actually quite a few weeds in this photo - the eagle-eyed will be able to spot bindweed, creeping buttercup, couch grass and dock. But the most prominent weed here is ground elder.

Ground elder is a flipping nuisance due to two bad habits. The first is its habit of making a tangled mass of thick but brittle roots just below the soil surface. It is quite easy to remove huge quantities of these (unless it is growing amongst established plants, in which case it is an absolute bugger), but very difficult to remove every last piece. You will always leave bits of ground elder root behind. This leads us to its second bad habit - it can quickly and easily regenerate from even a tiny piece of root. In combination, these two habits make ground elder very hard to eradicate.

It seems to defy mulches, horticultural plastic, old carpet etc. It just pushes straight through, or find its way around the edges. I've never tried weedkiller on it but it has a reputation for shrugging herbicides off. The stuff does have the most astonishing will to live. I sometimes wish my crops showed such strength of character.

Ground elder was deliberately introduced to Britain as a food. I would dearly like to go back in time, find the person who did this (a Roman apparently), and beat him up. Apparently the young leaves can be boiled as spinach. I can't say I've ever tried it. In my opinion almost any leaves can be boiled as spinach, but whether it's worth the bother is another question. I must admit that there's a slight appeal in the thought of eating it as revenge. Ground elder has also been used as a remedy for gout, and in some places it is known as goutweed. It was introduced to Northern Europe in the middle ages by monks, who suffered from gout terribly. I'm not sure why mediaeval monks were particularly susceptible to gout, which is commonly associated with overindulgence in alcohol and rich foods, but there you are.

It doesn't spread as fast as some other weeds, such as bindweed, and so I am satisfied to dig it out of new beds and hoe it ruthlessly off established beds when I see it. I am especially ruthless near my carrots. It's a member of the same family and so can host carrot root fly. Of course, the flies don't do any harm to the flaming ground elder, but they make delicate lace doilies out of my carrots. This method is the same as advocated by Bob Flowerdew, who says you should go out every day and pull off every leaf of ground elder you see. Sooner or later you will exhaust the rootstock. Good luck.

My verdict of ground elder - it's a pest but there are worse things. Maybe I will try eating it. And whilst it flourishes on my allotment, at least I have nothing to fear from gout.

Weed of the Week - Bindweed

Bindweed is evil. If ginger beer plants are proof of the existence of God, bindweed is proof of the devil. The roots can penetrate 15 feet (5 metres) underground. The stems can grow several inches in a day. The seeds can lie dormant in the soil for 30 years before germinating. And it binds around everything really tightly, choking your precious plants, and making it very tricky to unravel and remove. Evil, evil weed.

I'm trying the "keep chopping its head off and sooner or later it will give up" approach, but I have to admit I'm not winning. I'm tempted to go the Roundup route - but if I do, I won't spray it everywhere. I've heard that you should gather up as much of the bindweed as you can and stuff it into a thick plastic bag, like a builder's rubble bag or a large bucket with a lid, then spray the Roundup into the bag or bucket. That way, the weedkiller only goes on the plant you want to kill, not everywhere else. You also get enough weedkiller onto the plant to kill it if you do it this way. A single bindweed specimen can be quite large, and just because you zap one stem, you might not apply enough poison to kill the whole thing. Even so it may take more than one application. Anyway, I haven't used any weedkiller on the allotment at all, I'm just tempted to by the bindweed.

I've read that it has some medicinal uses. It certainly raises blood-pressure in gardeners, so if you're suffering from hypotension it could be useful I suppose. The long stems can be woven together and made into a ligature to throttle neighbouring gardeners who tolerate the damn stuff and allow it to invade your plot. You can put it in weed tea. You can put anything in weed tea, it all rots so it's perfectly safe. But don't put bindweed on your compost heap. It will just grow there, and mock you.

Bindweed - it's evil. Can anyone defend it?

Allotment Dreams

I went to the allotment yesterday. I didn't do anything exciting, just weeding. I weeded the onions, garlic and broad bean beds. The crops aren't showing above the surface of the ground yet, but it's important whilst weeding to remember they're just under the surface, and not to disturb them. Ed cleared a new bed. I'll put some more beans in there soon.

It's seed catalogue time of year. I sat in bed last night and read the Chiltern Seeds veg catalogue and the Dobies catalogue cover to cover. Dobies has better pictures but Chiltern Seeds was funnier. The trouble is, I now want far more seeds than I have the space to raise (or the time to tend or the mouths to feed). Then I fell asleep and had weird dreams about an allotment that went from horizon to horizon and I was running round trying to keep it all watered and weeded like some demented Playstation game.

Be Nice to Nettles Week

14-25 May 2008 is Be Nice to Nettles Week. Why not:

• Create your own nettle patch
• Try Lady Ridley's Nettle Soup
• Take part in the Garden nettle patch survey
• Make nettle manure
• Or participate in the Comma butterfly survey

You could also look up some Nettle Week Events or take a nettle quiz.

Who knows - maybe if you be nice to nettles, nettles will be nice to you?